The Extraordinarily Dubious World of Ghost-Quackery

Another shot was fired in the War on Science last week when Brisbane's Courier-Mail (they describe it as a 'newspaper' apparently) printed some unadulterated horseshit on 'ghostbusting'. The big news was that a couple of suburban kids had bought some ghost-detecting gadgets off the Internet and were using them to, well, detect ghosts.* This includes a 99-cent smart phone app that translates supernatural communication into English (at 99 cents, how can it NOT work?). Stop Press! In other breaking news, some kid bought mail-order X-Ray glasses off the back of a comic and was using them to check out ladies knickers.

How people like this get girlfriends.

As is often the case with ghosty-type news, it was just a nothing story, lazy journalism with all the investigative depth of a water cracker. Actually, that's probably a bit harsh, because after allowing the usual quacks in the field to say words in a meaningless sequence, the reporter balanced their views with those of University of Queensland Associate Professor of Philosophy and paranormal sceptic William Grey, which is a bit like balancing a cupcake with the USS Nimitz. 

Professor Grey said that, 'anecdotal evidence should be scrutinised carefully', which I liked straight away because that is the EXACT point of my recent 'Haunting Question' book. He also added that there 'was no scientific basis for believing modern technology could detect paranormal activity', and, 'I don't dispute for a moment that this equipment will detect electromagnetic fields... What I find extraordinarily dubious is the suggestion that these technological devices can be used for detecting a ghostly presence.' Once again, spot on.

Further sanity was restored in the online comments section for the story, where most people lined up to point and laugh, and also offer the ghost hunters in question some top value shopping deals:

"Delusion takes many forms, doesn't it."
"A fool and his money are soon parted."
"LOL. An app that can interpret ghostly communications. Somebodies having their leg pulled."
"Gadgets to pick up the spirit realm? There are mugs everywhere."
"The only expert quoted in this article made it clear these machines have zero scientific credibility in this context, but as long as we're here I have a 'fairy detector' made out of an old Corn Flake box these guys might be interested in purchasing."
"what these boys are doing is the exact opposite of ghostbusting, they're actually inventing ghosts"
"I have a spanner that can detect paranormal entities.. I will sell it to you for $450."
 

"$450, complete with batteries. But you
must NEVER cross the streams."

Unfortunately, one or two old porkies were also reheated and served up again in the form of 'Brisbane is Australia's most haunted city". Here we go again. I hate to use the same phrase twice in an article, but this is yet more 'unadulterated horseshit'. I have dealt with this 'most haunted' guff before, and claims that 'Brisbane is the second most haunted city in the world' have recently been PROVEN by others to be false. It is simply NOT TRUE, and any person who circulates this stuff has zero credibility. The Internet, however, has the power to keep regurgitating this stuff back up for unsuspecting punters.

Still, there is an obvious market for this stuff, and it can only be a matter of time before a) Choice magazine savagely exposes the technological quackery, or b) You can buy a ghost-detecting app for your phone. Oh, that's right, they already did that last one. *slaps head*. It actually doubles as an app for detecting gullible boofheads. 

"Oh no, we've been detected. Quick, put
the Invisible Helmets on!"

* To be fair, these ghost hunters are probably only 12 years old and trying to impress that goth girl at school. There are actually a (very) few paranormal investigation groups out there who have a solidly realistic approach to the subject matter and do some interesting work. Stories like the one in the Courier-Mail, however, are counter-productive and tarnish the whole field.